According to the defendants of Proposition 8, ProtectMarriage.com, marriage should only be between a man and a woman because heterosexual couples are who should “ideally” raise children. The website states that “Because only relationships between men and women can produce children, and children are most likely to thrive when raised by the father and mother who brought them into this world, opposite-sex relationships have the potential to further—or harm—this vital interest in a way that other types of relationships do not.” As a daughter of lesbian mothers, I personally oppose this idea. It insults my entire family, and makes assumptions about who would be my best parents. I believe that this statement is untrue, unrealistic and not only delegitimize same-sex parents, but other families as well.

The ProtectMarriage.com statement is wrong on three counts, the first being that it is untrue. It states that only a man and a woman can produce children. This is mostly truthful, but a more scientific explanation would say that one only needs sperm, an egg, and a uterus to produce a child. Especially with advances in science, as well as sperm and egg banks, it has become easier and easier to get pregnant without having sex. Both my brother and I were conceived via a donor’s sperm. So while parts of a woman and a man are necessary to conceive a child, that does not mean no one else can get pregnant without a little help.

Furthermore, it is unrealistic to argue that children will do better if raised by their biological mother and father. Not all children can or should be raised by their biological parents. Some children are born to parents who cannot take care of them for different reasons that may be out of their control; many parents are not ready for parenthood or stumbled into it accidentally. No child of same-sex parents, however, is unplanned or accidental. All of those children are wanted and planned for. In-vitro fertilization, surrogate mothers, as well as sperm and egg donors make it possible for gay and lesbian families to reproduce, but it takes time, effort and money. It can take years for adoption agencies to connect children with suitable families, which means that anyone who wants to adopt is thinking hard about raising a child and its consequences. In fact, the reason there are adoption agencies is that many biological parents are unsuitable or unable to parent their children. It seems outrageous to me that one can oppose same-sex marriage on the basis that children are best raised by their biological parents when I can see in my everyday life how little of a difference it makes. I am just as socially adjusted, academically focused and emotionally stable as all my friends with a mom and a dad.

Lastly, the basis that children should be raised by only their biological father and mother delegitimizes many different families and lifestyles. Children all over our country are being raised by their grandparents, single mothers, single fathers, step-parent, legal guardians, adopted parents, aunts, uncles, the government, as well as two mothers or two fathers. ProtectMarriage.com’s argument delegitimizes all of these family structures which are common in our society. It even invalidates divorce, which up to 50% of marriages end in. Forty percent of the country’s children do not live with married biological parents. I think it is important to recognize that not all families are a mother and a father who are stably raising their children. And it is even more important to accept that and not impose values or ideals on other people’s lives.

The Supreme Court should legalize same-sex marriage. I only see the homophobia and malice of taking away rights of so many Californians and Americans who just want to legally acknowledge their love. Many same-sex couples want to legally recognize their union or family and cannot do so because some people question their parenting abilities. The main arguments that the defendants of Prop 8 put forward look to me to be grasping at straws for some legal reason that does not exist. Insulting same-sex parents as well as many other types of families and lifestyles isn’t legitimate grounds to prohibit same-sex marriage. The homophobia and fear of different lifestyles that is obvious in the arguments put forth by ProtectMarriage.com offend my family and many other Americans. I hope that in the future there are more acceptances of same-sex parents, gay marriage and non-traditional lifestyles.